Every Day, a Little Death
by Miss Anthrope
Summary: One has fled, the other left in the midst of the Second War to pick up the pieces. This is the secret correspondence of Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy from that fateful night in Hogwarts onwards.
1. Parting Words

**Title: **Simple Epitaphs

**Author:** Miss Anthrope

**Disclaimer:** Characters used belong to JK Rowling; the dialogue and other information not taken from her books are proudly mine. The song, sadly, is again not mine but is the property of Taking Back Sunday, the band fronted by the very sexy Adam Lazzara.

**Rating:**

**Warning(s):** None yet, so far.

**Author's Notes:** As always, I was inspired by the lyrics of a song, in this case, _New American Classic_. Definitely shorter than what I usually post, but there definitely is more intensity in the chapters I will post.

**Dedication(s):** To those members of the S.S. Snitch and Bitch in who are equally, if not more, obsessed with this pairing as I am.

**Summary:** One has fled, the other left in the midst of the Second War to pick up the pieces. This is the secret correspondence of Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy from that fateful night in Hogwarts.

_We've got to get better, said it's all in your head_

_We could live through these letters_

_Or forget it all together_

_See, the months they don't matter_

_It's the days I can't take_

_When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away_

…_I want to remember_

_When I know that I can't go back…_

_-- Excerpts from New American Classic by Taking Back Sunday_

The old oaken door creaked heavily even as it was gently pushed aside, the time worn wood hanging by its last spells to the iron hinges. A pale head peeked in through the newly opened entrance and for a second stopped as though waiting for some response. One, two, and three seconds ticked by and still the room was just as quiet as it had been before.

Slowly moving to the centered bed, she quietly moved to pull back the hangings but hesitated, her hand lingering lightly above the thick layer of cloth and betraying her silent apprehension she dared not speak. The girl breathed in softly as she exhaled resolutely and quickly pushed away the flimsy barrier only to find that she had never been more right. Lowering herself softly against the immaculately prepared sheets, she mutely pulled herself under the covers and slowly took in the familiar scent that seemed to somehow bring to life the logical part of her mind.

'_Maybe he's just off patrolling the halls with Crabbe and Goyle'_, she thought wordlessly and grabbing the duvet closer to her. _'Just trying to catch Potter and some poor Hufflepuff lost in the halls.'_

The ideas began flowing easily and soon her heart had returned to its normal rate with a small smile in place. Soon enough, her head once again began whirling with hazy images of sunsets and the illuminated corner in the room all laced with the diluted aroma of peppermint and the ocean breeze. Sleep was drawing nearer with each flutter of her eyes until at last them came to close completely, her body instantly turning to her side and fingers sprawled on the pillows when her hand caught something cool on the cotton. A frown etched itself lightly on her forehead as she ran her fingertips on the smooth surface that could only belong to a piece of parchment.

The spindly cursive instantly caught her eye, however, and soon she was sitting on the bed staring at the foreign object. Her name was written in the same clear and columnar fashion she had known only him to use though this time, she observed rather unconsciously, that the script had been more italicized as if the writer had been in an extreme hurry. Carefully opening up the letter, she mindlessly moved herself closer to the window to better see the simple one paragraph message.

_Dear Pansy,_

_I do not know how to break this to you easily since I have not the time to think even my own thoughts through; there is so little time and so much to say. I know that I have informed you only a few hours ago about my mission for the Dark Lord and how it was supposed to be carried out still a month from now. Believe me when I say that I was and still am as surprised as you are now when I found out that the event has been moved to tonight. If you find this before two o'clock, I ask only that you do not look for me and stay in the room until daybreak when it's safe. However, if you get this at a later time perhaps from Crabbe or Goyle, know that I have already fled, to where I do not know. I'll try to keep in touch as much as I possibly can given the circumstances. I must warn you now, however, not to respond for we both know how dangerous it can be._

_Take care of yourself and I will try to write soon._

_Yours always,_

_Draco_

From the very first line, Pansy already felt her stomach twisting itself into a knot and by the time she had finished off the last farewell, her body was shaking from the effort of pacifying the sobs that remained suppressed in her throat. She gazed at the charmed chronometer on the edge of a table and saw that it was only half past two. A part of Pansy wanted to run down the corridors and out of the school in an attempt to catch up with the fleeing Draco, but the more dominant and logical side kept her rooted at the spot. Anger, feelings of loss, and most importantly fear for him clouded her mind as it processed everything.

Still without uttering so much as a syllable, Pansy quietly padded her way back to the empty bed she had just left and tucked herself between the sheets. Pulling up the heavy quilt until her chin, she adjusted herself carefully against the impeccably white pillows before going back to a dreamless sleep, a letter in one hand and with the scent of a lost friend wafting in the air.


	2. Remembrance

**Title: **Simple Epitaphs

**Author:** Miss Anthrope

**Disclaimer:** Characters used belong to JK Rowling; the dialogue and other information not taken from her books are proudly mine. The song, sadly, is again not mine but is the property of The Movielife.

**Rating:**

**Warning(s):** None yet, so far.

**Author's Notes:** I know, I know. It's been forever since I've last posted this, but I've just finished school so I've only been able to have some time to write out the second chapter now. Also, I've been caught up in FA, most especially the interesting SCUSA boards there where I've met a bunch of friendly people.

**Dedication(s):** To those members of the S.S. Snitch and Bitch in FictionAlley who are equally, if not more, obsessed with this pairing as I am. Added to that is the sexy Boyd Holbrook who is the real Draco Malfoy of my fanon dreams.

**Summary:** One has fled, the other left in the midst of the Second War to pick up the pieces. This is the secret correspondence of Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy from that fateful night in Hogwarts.

_Train station, knows every word you said_

_Vacation, from all the games we play_

_I turn away_

_Long Island's calling me_

_I lost it all_

_My clothes smell like the city_

_Leave me for dead_

_The train will get me home_

_Drag me away_

_I don't know what's good for me,_

_I don't know what's good for me…_

_- Excerpts from Sailor Tattoos by The Movielife_

That summer had elapsed quicker than Pansy thought, though more boring than what she expected. With the chaos that came with the passing of someone like Albus Dumbledore, it became painfully clear as soon as Pansy had stepped foot on the platform that she was to spend every moment in the Parkinson Manor, left only with the company of her parents and associates who dropped by occasionally. She didn't find anything enjoyable about having tea with some of her mother's newest friends as much as she had with Narcissa, who was now the topic on the lips of all society matrons, much to her annoyance. Inadvertently, Pansy would usually find herself reliving her last days at an unusually funereal Hogwarts instead of listening to the conversations, her hand still stirring rhythmically the tea she hadn't even sipped from; a few seconds would pass as she tried to attune herself once more to the latest gossips and ignoring the concerned look of her mother before discreetly stealing a glance the direction of her quarters.

The note she received from Draco had been kept safe at the bottom of her trunk for the past two months, the creases deepened from the many times Pansy had read it over and over by her bedside at the dead of the night. She heard no news from him— no letters, no rumors from the Ministry, no mentions in the Prophet. Absolutely nothing. It was almost as though Draco had never even existed and that her only evidence was his letter and the picture she had with him when they were only five.

"Pansy, you there?" The sharp rap on the compartment door snapped her out of her reverie as a familiar blonde tentatively peered. Her frown quickly softened as Pansy beckoned Daphne Greengrass to take a seat. "Maybe when we come back, but for now, McGonnagal is waiting for us in the Prefects Compartment."

Nodding slowly, Pansy lifted herself and headed to follow Daphne out of the door, all the while remembering how last year's train ride had occurred.

"So glad you could join us, Miss Parkinson." The usually clipped voice of one Minerva McGonnagal broke through her train of thought, albeit softer than the years past. "Please take a seat immediately so we may finally proceed with the meeting." The obvious strain recent events have heaped onto her shoulders was barely evident from her demeanor, stiffly formal as always.

The new Heads were, as usual, introduced to the group, and it came as no surprise to Pansy that the roles were filled in by Harry Potter and some unknown Ravenclaw. Despite the fact that her interest was for a moment piqued by the fact that Hermione Granger hadn't become Head Girl, it was easy for her to once more loose herself to her thoughts as she often did nowadays. Unbeknownst to Pansy, several eyes diverted to her direction every few minutes due to her unusual silence in contrast to the boisterous girl they had been accustomed to.

It was unnerving, even to Daphne, the sudden change of character in her friend ever since the last weeks of school in their sixth year. Her eyes flashed with concern as she took in the almost haggard face of Pansy who was before then, glowing with pride and humor. Daphne tentatively reached out a hand and placed it softly on her friend's shoulder in the hopes of comforting her in some way; a mental sigh of relief was released on her part as a smile settled itself on Pansy's face, though smaller and a little forced than she had hoped. She knew that it had been a hard blow on Pansy when Draco had left so suddenly for reasons she was not told and had hoped that a couple of months home would help rather than leave her feeling isolated. Likewise, Daphne had also been kept at her manor and could only imagine what the silence and all the free time had done to Pansy, who had probably—and did—spent it contemplating about the newly made gaping hole in all their lives.

The meeting, much to everyone's joy, ended minutes earlier and left a still pensive Pansy to be nudged by her fellow Slytherin to vacate the Prefects Compartment. Just as they were about to return to their own compartment, Headmistress McGonnagal, leaving Pansy to another quiet walk, called on Daphne for a short word in private.

The raucous noises of the other students didn't even register in Pansy's mind, nor that many in the middle of her path would immediately make way for her to pass. A few more steps and Pansy once more found herself alone in her compartment before something foreign grabbed her attention. A small white envelope was laid neatly on the plush seat she had occupied, one that she was sure had not been there when she had left earlier. Pansy could vaguely make out the outline of an owl far out into the horizon and supposed that it had been able to enter through the window she had left ajar. Immediately, she recognized the cursive on the cover and carefully began to remove the letter from within.

_Dear Pansy,_

_I know that it has been months since I've last written to you, but this is the spare time I've been able to have alone. I hope that you are doing well and have had a reasonably enjoyable vacation despite the fact that you have probably been left at home with the war so close. I, on the other hand, have been spending my days moving from one place to another in order to evade the Aurors who are more persistent that I had once thought. Given the conditions, I am in good health and am now in a secure location I cannot disclose to you most especially through a letter. _

_I've received word from Mother some time ago and feel that she's not doing well on her own. Apparently, she now refuses to go out with all the foul things those damned gossips keep talking about behind her back. I hope it is not too much of me to ask that you visit her or even just owl so that she will at least have one person to turn to. Mother has always enjoyed your company and it will definitely do her good to see you again after months alone in the manor. _

_There is not much good news to tell you and I refuse to mention anything else that might only leave you worrying. You have enough to deal with as it is with NEWTS and other obligations you might have so I know not to bother you with unnecessary information. Hopefully, I will have more time to write you a longer letter than this some day soon with more improvements to speak of._

_Take care and good luck for your seventh year._

_Yours always,_

_Draco_

Scanning the letter for the last time, Pansy pocketed the paper into her school robes just as the train came to a stop in Hogsmeade. Daphne was pleasantly surprised when she finally caught up to Pansy who was now smiling largely as she helped usher out the first years from their compartments. She did not even question what had happened and merely shrugged as she assisted the other prefects with their duties, satisfied that her friend was now feeling much better than earlier.


End file.
